this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
