we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
