So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
