OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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