Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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