I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
