Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
