they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
