At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
