White coat. Heels.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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