Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
