I showed him my bush... on skype.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
