I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
