you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Randomize
