you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
