What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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