Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
