R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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