you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Randomize
