True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh god it's open bar.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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