You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
