Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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