No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
