Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
