stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
