he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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