Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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