Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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