I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
