so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
