how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
