I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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