I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
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