wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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