I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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