you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
