Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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