All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The power of my boobs compel you
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
