She announced her abortion via fbk
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
