people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
