my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
