We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
