I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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