last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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