I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
