And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
