I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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