# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
