I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
