Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
