i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
