I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
